Reader,​
One of the players walks back when the ball turns over. The next practice, they stay on the edge, avoid the ball and work at half speed. Your first instinct is to blame them for the lack of effort.
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However, there could be many different reasons for this behavior. The player may not understand, expect to fail, be tired, or feel like lacking a meaningful role. When we label every drop in effort as “laziness,” we stop looking for what the players actually need.
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Before a public intervention, watch two repetitions, name the behavior, then ask: “I’ve noticed you’re not showing for the ball as much. Are you unsure where to move, or do you need some help finding the space?“. A short conversation that protects connection and clarifies the task can reveal more than another shout.
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Give the player a route back: one job for the next round, a helpful partner and feedback. Matching the next challenge to the player’s readiness keeps expectations high without one cue for everyone.

Three Things to Consider

1. Describe before you judge. Replace “lazy” with what can be seen: slow recovery, no support run or avoiding the ball. The next coaching action becomes specific and fair.

2. Check clarity, confidence and capacity. Does the player know the job, believe they can do it and have energy to try? Separating performance from assumptions about effort or ability helps select the right support.

3. Create a success route. Give one observable task: scan before receiving, recover goal-side, or make the next support run. Keep the standard high but make the route visible.

One thing to try this week

Observe one player for two rounds, ask one non-judgemental question, then agree one job. Building enjoyment and belonging alongside challenge can help effort return without making every interaction a warning.

One Critical Resource on the Topic

​Coaching with Empathy, Communicating with Purpose supports understanding behavior while keeping communication purposeful.

FAQ

What if the player says nothing is wrong?​
Don’t press them. Describe what you have noticed and give them one simple action to focus on (example: “Okay. For the next few minutes, I want you to find space and ask for the ball three times. Then we’ll check in again.”). Even if they don’t explain, you can still give them one clear action to focus on.

Does empathy mean accepting low effort?​
No. It means finding the cause before choosing the response while standards remain clear.

When should a coach involve a parent?​
If the pattern persists or wellbeing is a concern, speak privately and share observations rather than labels.

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