Reader,
One thing I have reflected a lot on in my own coaching experience is the concept of emotional control. I love my players to stay calm, to feel confident and safe in the environment, and that they can make mistakes or make decisions and learn from them.
However, the reality is, if you’re working with youth players they are very much still developing in every way, socially, emotionally, physically and technically. So, asking young players to self-regulate or control their emotions is a tough challenge and one that is never going to happen consistently.
We are all human, we feel emotion in the game and after a recent tour where I have been away for two weeks leading a group of players against teams from a variety of different countries, it got me thinking about how coaches behave or control ourselves on the sideline.
Whilst I do truly value my players being calm, (and I try to model this consistently), during the tournament, I had moments on the sideline where I saw ‘the red mist’, finding myself more animated, frustrated, passionate or emotional than in a ‘normal’ game. So why was this?
Three reflections I came to after the trip.
- Adversity: When games are difficult, your players are under pressure or they need encouragement, the role of the coach can be to support, keep focus, encourage and guide players through difficult situations. Obviously, we don’t want to be ‘joystick coaches’, controlling every move, but when our teams are under pressure, we can feel that pressure and it can change our behaviour. We need to be mindful and conscious of these scenarios and prepare for them, allowing our players to develop resilience in the process.
- Player safety: There were moments where the officials let the players down. This is not an attack on referees, but when I felt player safety was being neglected or the officials could have done a lot more to protect the players from dangerous challenges, it impacted me. This showed that I cared, but whether I helped the cause, I am not sure…
- Hard work: I like to believe coaches coach because we care. We care about helping people, developing players, supporting performance and creating great environments. When you put huge amounts of energy into a team, you want that effort back from your players and possibly in the performance or outcomes of the game. This expectation can impact how we behave.
Two things to consider.
For me, self-awareness is the most important attribute a coach can have. Without a doubt, teams mirror coaches. If coaches lose their heads, players tend to. Being emotionally intelligent and understanding the impact of each intervention, your body language, tone, mannerisms and relationships with the players is critical.
- If you have an Assistant, be open with them about how you want to behave, and if you step away from those principles, encourage them to pull you back into line.
- Reflect as a coaching staff on your own performance post-match. What did we do well? What can we do better? What did we learn for the next game?
One thing for you to try this week.
Set yourself principles you would like to live by when coaching in the game. You won’t always achieve all of these, and you may even get it wrong at times, but having some guiding principles written down around your own sideline behaviour is a great start.
One critical resource on the topic.
Check out this PDP Guide with Keith and David Mayer which discusses the importance of being aware of your coaching emotions.
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