Reader,
Every week I hear from PDP members, football parents and coaches around the world via our community or platforms like LinkedIn. One of the common threads that continues to emerge from these interactions is that families often need help understanding how to navigate ‘pathways’ or the systems that players find themselves in that seem (at times) overly complicated and riddled with stress and anxiety.
What can start out as a love of a game can quickly become an obsession for kids, and perhaps the same could be said for parents who want their kids to ‘be a player’.
As a result, the player can now tie a massive part of their own identity and self-worth to how they perform at football (or in their chosen sport). Just last week I received a note from a concerned parent whose son was so stressed before a ‘trial’ that he was unsure whether taking him along would be the right thing.
We need to be mindful that too often in grassroots or developmental environments, everything seems to be a rush. A rush to the next game, the next win, the next trophy, the next select team. Most of this is driven by a culture of status and social comparison, amplified by things like social media and individualism in society.
So how does this impact us in our coaching? I believe it’s about perspective.
Whether you’re simply coaching a team, trying to be the best parent you can, or if you’re a technical leader in a club, we need to ensure we maintain perspective and direction.
Perspective is essential because, in the end, kids get one childhood, one opportunity to experience sport, and if it all gets too serious too soon, ultimately those players could be lost to the game.
Direction is also critical. In leading a club programme here in New Zealand, while it’s important to me that we do our best to develop players and create a great offering for them, the most important thing is that they come back the next week, the next month and the next season, that they have positive interactions with the sport, their coaches and the adults who lead.
Three things to consider
- Remember, when you’re coaching, you’re working with developing, malleable minds, still finding their way in the world. More often than not, players will make mistakes and all of this is part of the process. Understand the person in front of you and tailor your coaching approach.
- Can you support players with developing a growth or learners mindset? Beyond the scoreboard or individual success, is your coaching helping to develop a person, not just a player?
- Be self-aware. Understand that as an adult in a youth sports setting, you are the model, and I firmly believe that players mirror coaches. Ensure you role model great sideline behaviour, set the standard and be a leader.
One thing for you to try this week.
First, reflect: Are you bringing a level of intensity, anxiety or stress to the environment through things like body language, communication or simply being too intense?
Second, listen: Listen to sideline behaviour, and comments from parents or coaches, and consider whether when you really Zoom out is this helping or hindering the players?
One critical resource on the topic.
Check out this superb article from Founder of Changing the Game Project, John O’Sullivan titled, Every Moment Matters: You Coach a Person, Not a Sport. This will help you with that perspective that all of us need at times during the heat of the season.
